Ripping the Collections: Joe, Part 2

It's just a dress. Nothing particularly interesting about it except it's rendered in an ugly fabric and topped off with an ugly belt. It couldn't be any more basic.

It's almost-kinda-sorta cute. The tight mini is out of style and we don't love the fabric he used for the top, nor do we like the straps, but it's not bad. Ugh, that belt.

We could probably just save ourselves some time and just cut and paste that after every outfit.

Again, not horrible but not interesting either. Hate the frayed edges and the exposed zipper. And Joe is terrible about accessorizing. That belt pretty much ruins the look.

Hunh?

Where the hell did this come from? Ignoring the fact that it came out of nowhere and has nothing to do with the rest of the collection, it's a blandly basic dress that doesn't look like it fits her very well.

We get what he's trying to do here - a formal take on biker wear - but it doesn't really work. The bustier is actually pretty cute and clever. The skirt just looks like a cheap quilt wrapped around her.

In the end, he didn't really cover himself in glory but he produced some extremely well executed pieces that definitely have a market. We just wish he'd pulled out the stops more and surprised us rather than simply sending his existing portfolio down the runway.

[Photos: Getty Images]


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Ripping the Collections: Joe, Part 1

If you're settling in for a rip-fest on par with Suede's or even Jerell's, you're in for a bit of a surprise. Don't get us wrong; there's plenty here to rip and we'll get to it, but upon examination, we came to the conclusion that Joe's collection wasn't nearly as bad as we thought. It's not exactly good, but it's not as bad as Suede's or Jerell's. Faint praise, to be sure. One thing that can't be denied: these pieces were almost all perfectly executed and retail-ready. The problem is with the style itself. Coyote Ugly just ain't Bryant Park-worthy. Basically, it's a catalogue collection. That catalogue would be Schott Brothers, Joe's employer. All he really did was send down the kind of outfits he's been making for years.

Let's start the show:

Let's get one thing out of the way before we start: absolutely nothing in this collection is to our tastes. Having said that, this isn't bad. It's not a "wow" look but then again, nothing in this collection is. We don't like the pointy tops to the bustier and we think the skirt would have looked better an inch or two shorter, but for what it is, it's not bad.

A well-done look. We like the multiple zippers in the bustier and you can't deny that the jeans are just about perfect.

Two good pieces on top, one horrible piece on the bottom, three pieces that should never have been put together. Love the gold metallic jacket. The bustier's nice but that zipper is crooked. All pieces could be purchased in thousands of mid-range stores nationwide.

Two pieces that might work if they were paired with other pieces. We don't exactly like them, but we can't help thinking the real issue is that they're in one outfit.

By the way, the belts and jewelry? Awful.

That jacket is probably our favorite piece in his collection. The leather pants are all wrong for it. A pair of skinny jeans would have looked great with this.


[Photos: Getty Images - Video: YouTube/Taxiplasm]


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PRG Toons!

Once again, Alex tries on dresses and once again he makes Lorenzo (to his eternal annoyance) look like a Mexican Tintin.

Clickie to biggie, bitches!


[Illustrations: Alex Cox/Projectrungay.blogspot.com]

Pasta la vista, Joe.

The very definition of the dreaded loser edit:

"I'm going to really make sure it fits you in the right places."

"I want to show the judges that fit and tailoring is something I can do really well."

As soon as he made those statements, we knew it was going to be a poorly fitted monstrosity. And guess what?

We were right.

We know a lot of you think that the Suedester should've gone home last night but frankly, we don't agree. It was all Pasta Joe the minute that walked down the runway.

Those shoes! What the hell?

We like Joe. For the most part, he's laid back and he really seemed to be enjoying the hell out of just being there but we really don't think he had the chops, not for this competition.

If you look at his portfolio and resume, he's clearly an accomplished designer but we just don't think he had the "Fashion with a capital F" thing that the judges are looking for. Too mainstream and too middle of the road.

And "middle of the road" describes this pretty well. Oh sure, there were plenty of problems with Suede's entry (and we'll get to them), but the main problem with this design was the sheer (new word alert!) cataloguiness of it.

It's pure JC Penney. Nothing interesting or imaginative and CERTAINLY nothing youthful or stylish about it.

And to top it off, it was shockingly poorly made.

And it did terrible things to her body shape. A HUGE no-no.

To sum it up: boring, poorly made, made his client look fat. That's the trifecta of auf'ing right there. Suede's was bad but Joe committed every cardinal sin there is in fashion.

Joe's exit interview:




[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravo - Videos: Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungayblogspot.com]

Getting Back to Our Bread and Butter

Hey, wasn't there an episode last week?

What a bizarre matchup. It's a shame Kelli got sick and couldn't help her more because we suspect there would have been some primo fireworks between these two.

What we got was little more than a dud, though.

Don't get us wrong. We don't hate it. We just don't love it and we think it's far from Korto's best work.

How strange that she went the noodle route. We don't think they really add anything to the design. In fact, they're kind of distracting.

On the other hand, this look is so boring, they're the only thing that provides much in the way of visual interest.

Well, the back of it does too but frankly, we don't think that works either. It's a pretty effect, but the proportions make her look a little hunch-backed.

It's certainly not awful and it's pretty in its own way, but looking at it, we have to remind ourselves that this was an avant garde challenge and we're forced to admit that as much as we like Korto as a designer, this, like almost all the entries, fails on that level.

Another bizarre teamup and yet, in its own way, it worked.

"Worked" in the sense that they managed to pair Joe's questionable taste in fabrics with Daniel's more traditional design sense.

It's not bad and it's certainly well executed, but again, it's not exactly avant garde.

It's just voluminous and a little over the top.

The only real problem we had with the design (aside from its mediocrity) was the bodice. It sits too low and the bustline is uneven. Plus, we're not really getting the point of the "ripped open" effect.

Despite our criticisms, it's not a bad entry, all things considered. Better than most, certainly. Just....boring. The whole point to avant garde is to be the opposite of boring.

[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravo - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]