Miss Congeniality

Once again, kittens...

Let's get to it.

Not that we were ever completely won over by her, but when she made her totally half-assed apology to the other designers in their hotel suite, we thought, "Ok, she at least tried to give the appearance of being a little mature."

But, being Kenley, she had to:

"I thought I was the only one doing a short bridemaid's dress. It pisses me off."

Fucking PLEASE, bitch.

Not only did you not create the idea of the short bridesmaid dress...

Alexander McQueen Fall 2008 Collection

You didn't even come up with the idea for your bridal gown.

Oh and by the way, check out Miss Originality here putting Christian down for being inspired by Alexander McQueen. Hunh. Thought you didn't pay attention to collections, Kenley.

It's pretty. A bit much, but pretty.

But dammit, it's so close to those McQueen dresses. How are we supposed to critique this?

Lorenzo's inclined to think perhaps she was "inspired" by the McQueen dress but Tom thinks it's a straight up ripoff with only minor changes made to it.

How the judges could point out that it was a clear take on another designer's dress and then reward her with a win for it just baffles our minds. They could have just said, "Pretty dress but we've seen it before." Instead they said, "We've seen it before. Congratulations!"

Although to be (slightly) fair to the judges...

This was the dress that won it for her.

Then again, we think they kind of overpraised this one too.

Don't get us wrong, it's a really cute dress. In fact, it's probably our favorite look ever from Kenley.

But Jesus Christ, the Duchess said it was the cutest dress he'd EVER seen. Puh-leeze.

Absolutely a cute dress in a great color that was well executed. But did these two dresses look like they went together in one wedding party? Sure they have somewhat similar silhouettes but beyond that they don't even look like they should be at the same event let alone in the same wedding party.

Ugh. Whatever.

Check out how Miss Personality reacts to a little praise:

Nothing wrong with basking in the glow but compared to how petulant, dismissive, and downright nasty she gets when someone offers her the slightest criticism, we can't help thinking this is just a bit much.

Or maybe we just can't stand her.


[Photos: Style.com/Getty Images - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]

Total Tulle

Alright, kittens.

Let's get to it .

Look, once again we need to remind everyone that we've hardly been in the tank for Mean Girl. Why do we feel the need to remind everyone of that? Because we think she's not nearly as bad as people seem to think.

The worst we could ever say about Kenley is that she has an obnoxious, immature, mean girl streak to her and she doesn't take criticism well at all. Annoying, sure. Villain status? Not when we put her up against the great schemers and trash talkers of previous seasons. She's just a moderately talented girl with an annoying personality who thinks a little higher of herself than is probably warranted.

We would NEVER want to be stuck in a room with her for 12 hours a day and we don't blame her fellow designers for being sick of her, but we also think they all got a little too "kewl kidz" in response and in the end didn't exactly cover themselves in glory on the maturity front.

We admit it, alright? We felt a tiny little bit bad that she made it to the end and there was no one willing to congratulate her. We know, we know. You reap what you sow. We get it. We just think maybe the response to her has been a little out of hand relative to her "crimes."

And speaking of crimes...

Like her, the dress is a silly thing. An attempt to be sophisticated and innovative with results that are more laughable than anything else. A cartoon dress.

There's nothing really wrong with the silhouette or the construction. It's all perfectly bland.

The two main problems are that she once again chose a fabric that was questionable at best and then she tried to do something exuberant and a little over the top on the hem and failed miserably.

Those "petals" (and we don't believe her when she says they were supposed to look like scales) are too big, too heavy and too literal. And they're not made all that well, to boot.

In fact, they're very poorly made. And did we mention heavy? That dress was weighing that poor girl down like it was soaking wet.

So we got another throwdown with the judges...

"The petals; I have to say that it doesn't look very elegant either."

"What the hell? Like I'm so sure that I wasn't going for elegant. Please, Heidi!"

"What the fu--"

"Nina, you handle this one. I'm about ready to beat some ass here."

"Kenley, you're obnoxious and nobody likes you.

Oh, and your dress makes us all laugh when you're not in the room."

"What? Pssh. As if."

"Look! Look at her! Look at what she's doing, with the rolled eyes and everything! Why are we talking to her?"

"Whatevs, Heidi."

"You know we can see you, right? Us, the JUDGES. The ones that DECIDE IF YOU GET THE BIG MONEY.

What is WRONG with you?"

*big fat Disney tears*

"I have no time for this horseshit."

"Let's be honest, you wouldn't be standing here if we didn't like what you do."

"Oducer-pray anipulation-may..."

But, as is so often the case with this show, it amounted to nothing, really:

"So, what do we think about Kenley?"

"..."

"..."

"She's a lazy cow but I'm interested to see what she'll do."

"No. You know what? I'm sick of this shit. You do this every year and put up some amateur and then I have to sit in the tent with a frozen smile on my face as 2000 cameras are pointed on me and I have to swallow my vomit a little and pretend like I'm not appalled at how my career turned out. I'm NOT doing it this time, you hear?"

"Harvey didn't tell me it would be like this. I think I'm just gonna go, okay?"

[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravo - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]

Getting Back to Our Bread and Butter

Hey, wasn't there an episode last week?

What a bizarre matchup. It's a shame Kelli got sick and couldn't help her more because we suspect there would have been some primo fireworks between these two.

What we got was little more than a dud, though.

Don't get us wrong. We don't hate it. We just don't love it and we think it's far from Korto's best work.

How strange that she went the noodle route. We don't think they really add anything to the design. In fact, they're kind of distracting.

On the other hand, this look is so boring, they're the only thing that provides much in the way of visual interest.

Well, the back of it does too but frankly, we don't think that works either. It's a pretty effect, but the proportions make her look a little hunch-backed.

It's certainly not awful and it's pretty in its own way, but looking at it, we have to remind ourselves that this was an avant garde challenge and we're forced to admit that as much as we like Korto as a designer, this, like almost all the entries, fails on that level.

Another bizarre teamup and yet, in its own way, it worked.

"Worked" in the sense that they managed to pair Joe's questionable taste in fabrics with Daniel's more traditional design sense.

It's not bad and it's certainly well executed, but again, it's not exactly avant garde.

It's just voluminous and a little over the top.

The only real problem we had with the design (aside from its mediocrity) was the bodice. It sits too low and the bustline is uneven. Plus, we're not really getting the point of the "ripped open" effect.

Despite our criticisms, it's not a bad entry, all things considered. Better than most, certainly. Just....boring. The whole point to avant garde is to be the opposite of boring.

[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravo - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]