Kittens, we can't do it. As much as they tried to push mini-Tootie here as a little bitch-in-training, the fact is, she's just a kid who was probably excited to be on TV. We'd love to rip her to shreds, but even cold-hearted gays like us draw the line at tearing into children.
Her aunt, on the other hand...
"Look at me! I am
ACTING."
This was one of those silly "What if
The Devil Wears Prada was a reality show?" type of challenges. We don't doubt that editorial assistants (or junior editors or whatever the hell it is they're whoring themselves out for) get asked to perform some fairly menial tasks, but we have to wonder just what the hell Slowey and Zee are thinking with these kinds of stunts.
Does anyone really think that Elle comes across well when they pull this shit? Does this make you want to buy Elle? Do you think an Elle advertiser likes seeing such frivolous, silly crap being done essentially on their dime?
This concludes the portion of our post where we actually utilize brain cells.
And speaking of brain cells...
Come the fuck ON, Katie! As much as we almost/kinda/sorta sympathized with your plight this episode, if you can't remember the absolute basic aspects of an assignment, honey, it's time to hang it up and head back to law school.
Cologne, you sweet little doofus. There's no room for kind-heartedness in fashion.
Ashlie's all "GIRL, what the FUCK do you think you're doing?"
Enough student drama. Let's rip the party themes.
"I tend to stuff children into my oven, so I have no frigging clue what the hell you little bitches want."
"Here, have a balloon. It's not like I give a shit about this assignment."
Oh William. Hang it up.
No one believes you're really English.
"Once upon a time there was a beautiful city girl...who lived at the Plaza...decorated with diamonds and pink, which was her favorite color."
"One day, a beautiful, kind-hearted editorial assistant who loved mascara decided to throw her a party but she didn't have enough money because her ugly step-sister needed money to buy a cupcake after she spent all her own money on a boob job."
Aren't we all kind of rooting for Danielle? She seems sweet and she seems to know what she's doing and besides, who wouldn't want the fat girl to get the big prize at Size Two Central?
Although the rock star theme seemed a little lame and not quite appropriate for a ten year old girl.
Although if you want to talk wildly inappropriate...
Ashlie takes the cake. A Sex and the City theme for a ten year old? Really?
What the hell does that entail? Candy vibrators? A clown comes in at the end and pees on them?
Then there was Dyshaun's tarot-reading psychic idea. We have not the words.
Although, Mini-Tootie's face sums it up nicely.
Devin's shoe closet idea was cute, although we're not sure how that would work in a practical sense. Besides, shoe addiction tends to be an adult woman thing. Little girls like the jewelry and the purses and the makeup more.
Which is why the fashion show idea was a home run.
See?
And finally, the disaster to end all disasters:
Katie, what the fuck. Who hires bagpipes for a ten year old's birthday party?
When little girls think "princess in a castle," they tend to lean more towards the Disney version, not the beheaded-by-the-queen-of-England version.
Mini-Mini-Tootie summed it up nicely and we think we kind of love her a little:
"Get this bimbo out of my conference room and get me a latte."
The girl definitely has a future in the industry.
[Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]
