Aw, we're being mean. Who are we to poke fun at sissy queens who can turn out a dance routine in 4-inch pumps and a pair of acid-washed petal-pushers?
Besides, any show that not only features drag queens with a sissy choreographer, but also features the world's only (as far as we know) gay white rapper, is a show that we are going to sorely miss now that the season is wrapped.
And by the way, if you haven't seen the video for Cazwell's "I seen Beyonce,"
then you really should.
Although we did kinda want to slap him for using "pronunciate" as a word.
Meanwhile, Ru strapped on her best wig to get a little Tyra with the girls. We thought the tic-tac lunch was a little cute even if it is something of a reality show cliche to have these "getting to know you" bits with the contestants. At least they had the good humor to just plop them down in the middle of a soundstage rather than pretend they were actually having lunch somewhere.
It's the Zip Up Your FlyGirls!
How fabulous was that? We questioned why a drag competition would include rapping but shooting a music video - especially Ru's music video - was a perfect final challenge.
And it gave us a chance to look at THIS again. Mm-mmm-mm.
Nina looked amazing, but then again, that's nothing new. And who knew the bitch could dance so well?
Not that Bebe didn't also look fab,
but she's gotta tone down the crazy every now and then. It looks a little scary.
And where was Rebecca of Shadybrook Farms during all this?
Being a PITA once again, of course.
We can't help thinking that she does stuff like this on purpose when she's intimidated by a challenge (like with the Viva GLAM shoot), but for the life of us, we can't figure out how she thinks this sort of behavior benefits her.
How can you not look at that and think there are two amazingly fabulous queens and once utterly mediocre one?
And speaking of mediocre...
...that's simply not a word in RuPaul's vocabulary.
Runway time!
It's not that we don't think Nina brought it for the finale, but we tend to think she should have foregone her normal pantsuits and put on an actual gown for the final act. Don't get us wrong, the outfit is gorgeous (and we love the train attached to the pants), but once Bebe walked out, it was all over.
Ugh. What a waste of time. And that sexdoll thing she does with her mouth is so old.
We gasped when Bebe walked out. That gown is absolutely stunning.
Show of hands. How many of you laughed out loud when Rebecca's smile quickly turned to this look when she found out she was out? Or was that just us?
God knows, these bitches were happy to hear it.
We're not ashamed to admit that after blogging 5 seasons of PR and 2 each of Top Design and Shear Genius, this was the very first time we actually choked up a little when the winner was announced. Nina was unbelievably gracious about the whole thing, singlehandedly putting to rest the stereotype that all drag queens are shade-throwing divas. Nina Loca, you are a class act all the way.
Wonder Woman is insanely jealous of that tiara.
Bebe darling, you are FABULOUS! Congratulations!
But wait! There's more! Not only did they give us the most emotional reality competition win we've ever seen, they also gave us the BITCHIEST reunion show we've ever seen. DEE-LICIOUS.
To be honest, we were glad that the Rebecca drama was (mostly) resolved fairly easily. Yeah, she got on our nerves and we didn't think she deserved to be in the final 3 either, but we were tired of the whole thing at this point.
If anyone came off looking bad here, it wasn't Rebecca, it was Shannel.
And to a lesser extent, Tammie, who really brought the crazy. And what the hell was up with that headband? Did she ruin her eyebrows or something?
Ongina was sweet and of course her story was both heartbreaking and inspirational at the same time. Instead of raising a glass to her, we want to salute her mother, who sounds like she's fucking fabulous.
Now, when we interviewed Ru a couple weeks back, she told us that one of the first things a drag queen learns after lipstick 101, is how to let the criticisms of others just roll of your sequinned back.
Apparently, some of these queens skipped class that day. And thank you, Santino for pointing out that paying $550 for those pants was a waste of money. It really says something about Shannel that she thinks she can prove she has taste by pointing out how much she paid for her clothes.
Tammie just needs to go walk some children in nature for a while.
But manohman, Ru fucking LOST IT. Of course it was all for the cameras, but it still made for great television. How often do you ever get to see a veteran drag queen TEAR INTO a bunch of ungrateful bitches who can't take a little criticism? Emmys all around, we say.
And with that, we say goodbye to the greatest show in the history of television. Bitches, we can't WAIT for next season. If we didn't make such ugly women, we'd try out ourselves.
Darlings, it's a T Lo first! We're going to do some dress-ripping here instead of on PRG.
Bebe Zahara Benet, Rebecca Glasscock and Nina Flowers attend the 23rd annual Night of a Thousand Gowns at the Marriott Marquis in New York City.
We're not all that crazy about this look for BeBe. It's a little too ... matronly, if that makes any sense. She looks better in richer colors and more over-the-top silhouettes.
She looks like she's attending a wedding. In 1993.
Now, THAT'S what we're talking about! Trust Miss Nina to BRING IT.
Darlings, something TERRIBLE has happened! We're taking this show SERIOUSLY!
Those little bitches. What started out as a fun satire of reality TV competitions has now reached the point where we're freaking invested in the drama. No longer can we sit back and watch the show with a drink and a quip at hand. No, now we're all hunched forward in our seats giving the evil eye when someone we don't like opens her mouth or cheering someone on who overcomes diversity (or gets the loser edit), to even yelling at Miss Ru for her judging mistakes.
Because kittens? There is NO fucking WAY she should have picked Rebecca for the vogue-off.
Nina and Shannel OWNED that one and as much as Miss Shannel may sometimes grate, we have to admit, her self-immolation on the runway later this episode was a little understandable. Just what the hell is it about Rebecca that has Ru so enamored?
The good news is, Nina won the vogue-off, as she should have. She's become our new favorite.
We still love Bebe, but lately there's been an awful lot of shade coming from that tree, if you know what we mean.
Nina's just so earnest and sincere and wants to jump in on everything. She's been low-drama in a reality TV competition about drag queens. That alone qualifies her for a Nobel.
Besides, she took to Charo like she'd found her long lost mommy. How cute was that?
You gotta fucking love the guest appearances on this show. If there's ever a season 2, they're going to have to get Cher, Madonna, AND the dug-up corpse of Judy Garland to outdo themselves.
Cute. Would do him.
Now let's take a look at the EXTRAVAGANZA ELEGANZA!
She looks cute. We've seen the outfit before (for the Oprah challenge) but it looks better with this wig.
The dress is a little dowdy, but we're amazed at Nina's versatility when it comes to looks.
Remember! This is the "pretty" one!
Y'know, we wouldn't mind Rebecca so much (not even the trash-talking), it's just that we don't GET IT. We don't get why she gets complimented so much. We don't love this look.
Here's the problem with Shannel. She has terrible style instincts. This was clearly a look she never would have chosen for herself and yet, we don't think she ever looked better on the show. We get the whole "showgirl" aesthetic, but the fact is, she just looks better when she tones it down. Screw that, she looks BEAUTIFUL.
And we had to laugh at her "statement," since all it was was a minute and a half of her telling everyone how much she loves herself. Shannel honey, we all knew that already. Everyone does.
Swimsuit time:
It's alright. Not setting us on fire.
We thought Nina knocked this one out of the park.
What the hell is this? Is she TRYING to look like she's 50? There's nothing modern about this at all. Way too Priscilla Presley.
Whatever.
ELEGANZA!
Bebe's look was nicely done. That was quite the loser edit she was getting. Nina looks fantastic. Stylish and elegant. Rebecca's is just weird and tacky and WHAT THE HELL, SHANNEL?!
Why does she insist on aging herself so much? This look is not fabulous, honey! It's just not!
We don't like Rebecca's look at all (or Rebecca for that matter), but Shannel looks like Ethel Merman standing next to her.
As for Shannel's meltdown, bitch just gave up. She really couldn't see why the judges had a problem with her, which was just pure ego talking and she was frustrated by the judges always seeming to give Rebecca more than she deserves (which we tend to agree with).
In the end, this is a competition about who can replicate RuPaul's style the most and drag queens like Tammie Brown or Pork Chop (who are more old school, comedy-inspired queens) had a hard time fitting in. The same goes for the juggling showgirl style of Shannel here. The only reason she lasted as long as she did is because she's so attractive, but in terms of style, she's miles away from RuPaul.
Darlings, we've got a LOT of ground to cover, so let's hit it! It's a DRAGSTRAVAGANZA!
Darlings, it's a T Lo first! We're going to do some dress-ripping here instead of on PRG.
