Darlings, there's so much shit to talk about! Dresses, dresses, dresses! How are we ever going to get it all done this week? We're just going to have to let go and let God, kittens. Plus, vodka.
Hit it!
Marisa Tomei in Atelier Versace
That's a lot of dress, perhaps too much dress for the l'il ol' red carpet.
Miley Cyrus in Zuhair Murad Spring 2009
Miley Cyrus, like all teen starlets, has the power to cause middle-aged gay men to come to blows. Lorenzo HATES the dress and has NOTHING GOOD to say about its wearer. Tom thinks if he'd had to make red carpet appearances at her age, he probably would have worn some shitty dresses too.
Wait. That didn't come out right. Tom's point is...she's trying, isn't she? She's not letting her nipple slip out or wearing see-through dresses or crazy getups with legwarmers and feathers. Every event she goes to, you can tell she tried her best to look appropriate for the event and fabulous to boot. Most of the time she fails, but she's...what? Sixteen? And we haven't seen her get out of a limo with no underwear on yet? Honeys, she deserves an award just for that.
Amy Adams wearing Carolina Herrera
Amy, who hit the red carpet years ago like a breath of fresh air, has become something of a one-note bore. Column dresses in rich colors. Check. Severe, "serious actress" hair. Check. She looks good but we've seen it before, haven't we?
Anne Hathaway in Armani Privé Couture Spring 2009
Gorgeous. This dressed moved beautifully.
Beyonce in who the hell knows? Probably her mother with the glue gun again.
Lorenzo spent all night putting the pictures together for this post and writing little notes under them. Under these pictures, he offered the following:
"This is offensive."
That about sums it up. This dress is a hate crime.
Heidi Klum in Roland Mouret Resort 2009 [modified]
She's come undone. Literally. This dress looks like it's about to fall off of her. And how about you narrow it down to a half-dozen bangles at a time, Heidi?
[Photos: WireImage/Celebutopia/Style.com]
